would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
