have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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