my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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