cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
