WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
