Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
