Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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