You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
