She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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