haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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