in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
