My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
