I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
