after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
