I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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