so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
