i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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