Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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