The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
