we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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