Will you blow on my dice?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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