i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
