Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize