Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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