your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
