Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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