so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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