i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
