I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
