I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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