She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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