**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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