I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Even my vagina gasped.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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