Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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