I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize