i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
