Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
