I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
