I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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