called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
