I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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