I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
