i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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