There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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