As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
