He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
