Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
