in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
