OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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