Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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