He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
