yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
