We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
