I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
