I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
