two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
