last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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