My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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