I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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