Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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