last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize