you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
