pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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