I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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