I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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