No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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