I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
