Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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