happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
