Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
