The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
