Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I need moral support for this bender
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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