In the future we'll all be gay
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Are we still banned from the library?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
